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| Embarrassing Moments: | |
| * | I was 12 years old, and had just seen the movie Superman with
a bunch of friends. I guess I was all charged up because as we were all leaving the
theater, I ran and attempted to jump over one of those red velvet ropes. I stuck my arms
in front of me like I was flying like Superman as I shouted "Faster than a speeding
bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings with a single
bound!" Well, my Superman act came up a little short. I caught the velvet rope with
my foot, fell flat on face, and knocked over about 3 or 4 of the posts holding the rope.
Pretty much everyone in the whole lobby saw me. Dragon, Chicago, IL dragon1234@hotmail.com |
| * | My parents go on vacation with another couple
every fall, usually to a very remote camping ground on the Tennessee River. They spend all
their time fishing, driving the boat up and down the river, swimming, and just generally
relaxing. They keep a radio around so they can check the weather reports, but other than
that, they have no contact with the rest of the world. It was during one such Tennessee
getaway that Princess Diana died in an automobile accident, an event that had the
attention of every facet of the global news media...none of which were readily available
to my parents and their friends. A day or two later, my father went into the cabin they
had rented to turn on the radio for a quick weather report check before heading back out
on the boat, and was shocked to hear the news of the princess' death and the unusual
circumstances surrounding it, particularly the public outcry against the drove of
photographers that some people were actually attempting to blame for the automobile
accident. After a few minutes, he went back out to the dock. When asked by everyone why he
looked so stunned, my father told them that the princess was dead. They thought he was
joking at first, but after some somber repetition, they realized he was telling the truth.
My father's best friend, the first to speak, "Well, how? I mean, who did it?"
"It sounds to me," my father replied, "like everyone's blaming
paparazzi." His friend's brow furrowed. "Wait a minute," he said. "Why
the hell would a big fat opera singer want to kill the princess?" If I'm lyin', I'm
dyin', folks. -- submitted by Frank Lauro (CaptLauro@aol.com), Chicago, IL USA |
| * | My sophomore year of high school I was
preparing for a semi-formal. My dress had thin straps, and so my mother bought me a
strapless bra. She kept fussing about the bra and warned me to be careful that it was
snapped properly. At the dance, the bra was driving me crazy as it kept shifting and
causing me general discomfort. I was sitting on my dates lap when I noticed something at
my feet. It looked like a streamer, and so I kicked it away. A little while later, I saw
some of the class clowns dancing around with a bra and had a good laugh about that. My
friends and I joked that the bra probably belonged to one of the class sluts who were
making out on the bleachers in the gymnasium. When I returned home that night, my bra was
missing. It took me several seconds to realize that the bra I had been laughing at all
night had been my own! For senior willing, I willed a black strapless bra to whoever may
lose her's at our school's semiformals. It has been 11 years and my bra is still in my
high school's lost and found in the computer teacher's office! -- submitted by Lily Munster (mystress_lily@yahoo.com), St. Louis, MO USA |
| * | Embarrassing First Date: This
was on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno on September 7, 1999. Jay went into the
audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner
described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her
tale took the prize! She said it was midwinter...snowing and quite cold...the guy had taken her skiing. It was a day trip (no overnight). This was, after all, a first date... The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the middle of nowhere. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the other side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor she answered her date's concerns about "what was taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and needed some assistance"! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal. Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free so, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. Rescue accomplished, they returned to the car although for the remainder of the trip home there wasn't much conversation and apparently, despite their "intimate encounter," the two did not see one another again. |